Do you ever feel like you could use a friend? Not just any friend though, but a natural hair girlfriend. The one that you can run and talk to when you and your stylist are having problems. Wait, that’s a remix on an Usher’s “You Make Me Wanna” song. But you get what I’m saying right?
As a curly girl, we need girlfriends or should I say curlfriends that we can depend on. We need a squad that will ride with us through our natural hair journey. Curlfriends who can make you smile even after experiencing a bad haircut.
Why We Need Friends
I’ll never forget the time I picked up the phone and called my curlfriend Shilesa after I went to this new hair salon in Miami. They were offering FREE haircuts.
I should’ve known better but I did it anyway. I took my happy go lucky self into the salon and sat in the hairstylist chair of doom. Long story short homegirl butchered my curls in the name of a Deva Cut.
I ran out screaming and in search of a lifeline.
Shilesa was my lifeline that day. After calming me down she gave me some solid natural hair advice. She simply said, “Stop sitting in everyone’s chair who claims that they can do natural hair. You’re going to learn. Call your real beautician and see what she can do.” I was so grateful to have her that day.
She knew exactly what to say and do.
I mean let’s be honest, being natural is not always an easy thing to do. However, going through the process of being natural is easier when you have a band of amazing friends to do it with. Could you imagine what your life would be like if you had a crew of curly girls that you knew had your back? I’m going to share with you three amazing curlfriends that every natural hair girl should have in her life. These amazing women are going to be the ones to hold you down at every corner of your natural hair journey.
We all have that one friend who slays the day when it comes to her natural hair. She’s always rocking some braids, flat twist, bantu knots, or any other trending hairstyle you can think of. You know the one you ask, “Who did your hair”, and her response is always a quick, “ME!” Yes, that friend! The only time this curlfriend goes to the hairdresser is to get an ocassional trim. Well that’s IF she doesn’t take the sheers to her head herself. She’s the beautician of your curly crew.
When you think of wash day you think of her. In the back of your mind, she’s the only person you know who can get your curls right. My beautician curlfriend is my sister Charite’. If I don’t feel like combing my hair I know I can count on her. She lovingly washes my hair, detangles my curls, and styles it anyway my heart desires. Her hand to comb and edge control game is lit!
Now, the beautician curlfriend may or may not have her cosmetology license. Indeed she may be the “kitchen beautician”, but she’s your girl. If you call her to twist your hair she will squeeze you into her appointment book. You definitely need her in your life.
SN: If your beautician friend is a professional make sure to pay the full salon prices. Don’t ask her for a discount. If she is doing your hair at home just make sure you pay her like you would your stylist. Oh, and don’t forget to tip. Yes, the beautician is your friend but let’s be honest, she has to eat too. So, don’t look for too many five-finger discounts unless you’d like to be curlfriendless.
Why You Need Her:
- The beautician can two strand twist and braid.
- She will always fit you into her appointment book.
The Product Junkie
We know her. We love her. And we low key judge her for all of those half-empty jars underneath her bathroom sink.
She has tried every product on the shelf against her coils. The product junkie curlfriend will tell you, “Get this girl!” or “Don’t get that” with a gentle head nod.
She has studied her ingredients and can give you insight on which products are truly sulfate-free.
My product junkie curlfriend is Tanisha. Tanisha can feel the consistency of a deep conditioner and tell you if it will work wonders or not. Yes, she’s about that life. Her personal opinion can be trusted because she doesn’t just stand behind every brand masquerading like they’re all the best. Tanisha’s feedback is honest and that’s why I keep her close. Her hair product wisdom can help you build a regimen that you never knew existed. She knows which shampoos, conditioners, hair mask, leave-ins, curling custards, buttercreams, and essential oils to purchase for healthy hair growth. Before I purchase a new product I contact Tanisha to see if she’s tried it or at least heard of it. Nine times out of ten she can rundown the 411 on the entire haircare line.
The product junkie curlfriend is the only friend you’ll ever need to take down the Target haircare aisle with you. Don’t you dare leave her home! She has the scoop on flash sales and coupon codes. If there is a natural hair event and you are scoping out vendors together, she can tell you exactly which ones to hit up.
Yes honey, the product junkie curlfriend is an asset to the team. Out of all of my curlfriends she is my favorite one. Oh, you want to know why? Well, I rock with her because she’s just like me. I’m a low key product junkie too. Not to mention we can always swap hair products and have curlversations.
Why You Need Her:
- The product junkie curlfriend is knowledgable of 75% of hair care products.
- She always knows when there is a sale and carries coupons in her fanny pack.
- You can swap hair products.
Being natural can be difficult. I take that back. Being natural is downright hard and discouraging at times. On random days my hair does what she wants to do as if I’m not the one caring for her! Just rude.
I have days where I want to go to the store and buy me a $5 perm box. I’m not even going to lie to you, sometimes I go to the beauty supply store and walk down the relaxer aisle and tap my fingers on all of the boxes. And if that doesn’t sound extreme enough, some days I hold the sheers in my hand and slowly contemplate doing another big chop.
Having kinky curly coily hair is no walk in the park.
At moments like these, I call my encouraging curlfriend Charity. Charity’s been natural longer than I have and has lots of wisdom. She recognizes my mini hair meltdowns and challenges me to reevaluate why I went natural in the first place. The encouraging curlfriend listens to you, gives you insight, and puts your entire situation into perspective. She basically knows how to talk you off the natural hair cliff. Girl don’t jump!
Often times you’ll discover that she has a “me too” story that you can relate to. She laughs with you at the idea of you wanting to apply an at home perm kit to your curls, but she also supports you even if that is the choice you decide to make. Her words give you the fuel you need to continue your natural hair journey. The encouraging curlfriend is the friend in your curly squad that you can be transparent with. She sees you because she has been in your shoes. She is a reflection of you.
Why You Need Her:
- The encouraging curlfriend reminds you of why you went natural.
- She motivates you on your natural hair journey.
- No matter what, she will stand by you even if you decide the natural hair life isn’t for you.
Choosing the right curlfriends is a crucial part of your natural hair life. They are priceless jewels you can’t afford to live without. If you’re blessed enough to have all three of these curlfriends let them know that you appreciate them. In fact, you may even be that curlfriend. Better yet, you may be all three of these curlfriends wrapped into one. And to that I say, “Girl you are the real MVP.”
Whether you’re looking for curlfriends or you are that curlfriend, never forget to be a good curlfriend. There are tons of newly naturals in the community who need some love and support. It doesn’t cost a thing to be kind or to help a fellow natural out. If you see the girl on the haircare line looking lost, help her. Be supportive.
If you’re looking for a curlfriend, just know that you have one in me. If you see me in the streets say hello. You can always email me or DM me for a curly conversation. I am here for you. We are in this natural hair journey together.
Who’s in your circle of curly friends?
Peace, Love, and Curls